BGA fortune cookies :: work
fortune index   all fortunes

#1021"I am convinced that the manufacturers of carpet odor removing powder
have included encapsulated time released cat urine in their products.
This technology must be what prevented its distribution during my mom's
reign. My carpet smells like piss, and I don't have a cat. Better go
buy some more."
-- timw@zeb.USWest.COM
#1022I am more bored than you could ever possibly be. Go back to work.
#1023I attribute my success to intelligence, guts, determination, honesty,
ambition, and having enough money to buy people with those qualities.
#1024I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on
the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
#1025I cannot draw a cart, nor eat dried oats; If it be man's work I will do it.
#1026I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when
it has been used to commit a murder.
-- M. Gallaher
#1027I don't do it for the money.
-- Donald Trump, Art of the Deal
#1028I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two
highly trained certified public accountants.
-- Elvis Presley
#1029I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve
immortality through not dying.
-- Woody Allen
#1030 I for one cannot protest the recent M.T.A. fare hike and the
accompanying promises that this would in no way improve service. For
the transit system, as it now operates, has hidden advantages that
can't be measured in monetary terms.
Personally, I feel that it is well worth 75 cents or even $1 to
have that unimpeachable excuse whenever I am late to anything: "I came
by subway." Those four words have such magic in them that if Godot
should someday show up and mumble them, any audience would instantly
understand his long delay.
  prev   1 ... 11 12 13 14   15   16 17 18 19 20 ... 63   next  

art   computers   cookie   definitions   education   ethnic   food   fortunes   humorists   kids   law   literature   love   medicine   men-women   news   paradoxum   people   pets   platitudes   politics   riddles   science   sports   wisdom   work  

User Functions
You're not logged in! If you don't have an account yet, please register one and get your very own elite (but free) BGA account!
Cars and Bikes
Celebs (female)
Celebs (male)
Food and Drinks
Movies and TV
Search keywords:
Detailed view
Top Backgrounds
link to BGA - contact us
fortunes - donate - advertise
Terms of Service