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#6794Why I Can't Go Out With You:

I'd LOVE to, but ...
-- I have to floss my cat.
-- I've dedicated my life to linguini.
-- I need to spend more time with my blender.
-- it wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
-- it's my night to pet the dog/ferret/goldfish.
-- I'm going downtown to try on some gloves.
-- I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
-- I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
-- I have an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
-- I have some really hard words to look up.
-- I've got a Friends of the Lowly Rutabaga meeting.
-- I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
#6795Why I Can't Go Out With You:

I'd LOVE to, but...
-- I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
-- None of my socks match.
-- I'm having all my plants neutered.
-- I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
-- My yucca plant is feeling yucky.
-- I'm touring China with a wok band.
-- My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
-- I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student
named Basil Metabolism.
-- There are important world issues that need worrying about.
-- I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
-- I prefer to remain an enigma.
-- I think you want the OTHER Peggy/Cathy/Mike/whomever.
-- I feel a song coming on.
#6796Why I Can't Go Out With You:

I'd LOVE to, but...
-- I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship.
-- I have to sit up with a sick ant.
-- I'm trying to be less popular.
-- My bathroom tiles need grouting.
-- I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.
-- My subconscious says no.
-- I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I
can't seem to put it down.
-- My favorite commercial is on TV.
-- I have to study for my blood test.
-- I've been traded to Cincinnati.
-- I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
-- I have to go to court for kitty littering.
#6797Why I Can't Go Out With You:

I'd LOVE to, but...
-- I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
-- I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
-- The monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
-- I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
-- I have to fulfill my potential.
-- I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
-- It's too close to the turn of the century.
-- I have to bleach my hare.
-- I'm worried about my vertical hold knob.
-- I left my body in my other clothes.
#6798Why I Can't Go Out With You:

I'd LOVE to, but...
-- I've got a Friends of the Lowly Rutabaga meeting.
-- I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
-- I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
-- I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
-- It's my parakeet's bowling night.
-- I'm building a plant from a kit.
-- There's a disturbance in the Force.
-- I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
-- I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
-- My crayons all melted together.
#6799"Why must you tell me all your secrets when it's hard enough to love
you knowing nothing?"
-- Lloyd Cole and the Commotions
#6800Without love intelligence is dangerous;
without intelligence love is not enough.
-- Ashley Montagu
#6801Wouldn't this be a great world if being insecure and desperate were a turn-on?
-- "Broadcast News"
#6802Yeah, there are more important things in life than money, but they won't go
out with you if you don't have any.
#6803You shouldn't have to pay for your love with your bones and your flesh.
-- Pat Benatar, "Hell is for Children"
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