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BGA fortune cookies :: humorists
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#5917I have a map of the United States. It's actual size. I spent last summer
folding it. People ask me where I live, and I say, "E6".
-- Steven Wright
#5918I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
-- Richard Diran
#5919I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once
in a while I turn it on and off. On and off. On and off. One day I
got a call from a woman in France who said "Cut it out!"
-- Steven Wright
#5920I have an existential map. It has "You are here" written all over it.
-- Steven Wright
#5921I just got out of the hospital after a speed reading accident.
I hit a bookmark.
-- Steven Wright
#5922I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind!
The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.
-- Charles Schulz
#5923I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get
there, but I'm going first class.
-- Art Buchwald
#5924"I love Saturday morning cartoons, what classic humour! This is what
entertainment is all about ... Idiots, explosives and falling anvils."
-- Calvin and Hobbes, Bill Watterson
#5925I met my latest girl friend in a department store. She was looking at
clothes, and I was putting Slinkys on the escalators.
-- Steven Wright
#5926I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
-- Groucho Marx
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