|#7038|| FROM THE DESK OF|
Use ladder tonight -- you're splitting my ends.
|#7039||Genuine happiness is when a wife sees a double chin on her husband's|
old girl friend.
|#7040|| -- Gifts for Men --|
Men are amused by almost any idiot thing -- that is why professional ice
hockey is so popular -- so buying gifts for them is easy. But you should
never buy them clothes. Men believe they already have all the clothes they
will ever need, and new ones make them nervous. For example, your average
man has 84 ties, but he wears, at most, only three of them. He has learned,
through humiliating trial and error, that if he wears any of the other 81
ties, his wife will probably laugh at him ("You're not going to wear THAT
tie with that suit, are you?"). So he has narrowed it down to three safe
ties, and has gone several years without being laughed at. If you give him
a new tie, he will pretend to like it, but deep inside he will hate you.
If you want to give a man something practical, consider tires. More than
once, I would have gladly traded all the gifts I got for a new set of tires.
-- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"
|#7041||Girls are better looking in snowstorms.|
-- Archie Goodwin
|#7042||Girls marry for love. Boys marry because of a chronic irritation that|
causes them to gravitate in the direction of objects with certain curvilinear
-- Ashley Montagu
|#7043||Girls really do know just what they want -- you to figure it out for yourself!|
|#7044||Girls who throw themselves at men, are actually taking very careful aim.|
|#7045||Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it.|
|#7046||God created a few perfect heads. The rest he covered with hair.|
|#7047||God created woman. And boredom did indeed cease from that moment --|
but many other things ceased as well. Woman was God's second mistake.
| ... ... |