|#6243||Fortune's nomination for All-Time Champion and Protector of Youthful|
Morals goes to Representative Clare E. Hoffman of Michigan. During an
impassioned House debate over a proposed bill to "expand oyster and
clam research," a sharp-eared informant transcribed the following
exchange between our hero and Rep. John D. Dingell, also of Michigan.
DINGELL: There are places in the world at the present time where we are
having to artificially propagate oysters and clams.
HOFFMAN: You mean the oysters I buy are not nature's oysters?
DINGELL: They may or may not be natural. The simple fact of the matter
is that female oysters through their living habits cast out
large amounts of seed and the male oysters cast out large
amounts of fertilization ...
HOFFMAN: Wait a minute! I do not want to go into that. There are many
teenagers who read The Congressional Record.
|#6244||Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #18:|
Q: Are you married?
A: No, I'm divorced.
Q: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A: A lot of things I didn't know about.
|#6245||Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #19:|
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.
|#6246||Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #25:|
Q: You say you had three men punching at you, kicking you, raping you,
and you didn't scream?
A: No ma'am.
Q: Does that mean you consented?
A: No, ma'am. That means I was unconscious.
|#6247||Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #29:|
THE JUDGE: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present
information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any ...
|#6248||Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #32:|
Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A: I will be three months November 8th.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
Q: What were you and your husband doing at that time?
|#6249||Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #37:|
Q: Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
Q: What was he doing with the dog's ears?
A: Picking them up in the air.
Q: Where was the dog at this time?
A: Attached to the ears.
|#6250||Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #3:|
Q: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were
able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to
go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with
him to the station?
MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.
|#6251||Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #41:|
Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
|#6252||Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #52:|
Q: What is your name?
A: Ernestine McDowell.
Q: And what is your marital status?
| ... |