BGA fortune cookies :: humorists
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#5967If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
-- Woody Allen
#5968If you've done six impossible things before breakfast, why not round it
off with dinner at Milliway's, the restaurant at the end of the universe?
-- Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe"
#5969In America today ... we have Woody Allen, whose humor has become so
sophisticated that nobody gets it any more except Mia Farrow. All those who
think Mia Farrow should go back to making movies where the devil gets her
pregnant and Woody Allen should go back to dressing up as a human sperm,
please raise your hands. Thank you.
-- Dave Barry, "Why Humor is Funny"
#5970In like a dimwit, out like a light.
-- Pogo
#5971Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
-- Steven Wright
#5972It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what
they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed
that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so
much -- the wheel, New York, wars and so on -- whilst all the dolphins
had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But
conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more
intelligent than man -- for precisely the same reasons.

Curiously enough, the dolphins had long known of the impending
destruction of the of the planet Earth and had made many attempts to
alert mankind to the danger; but most of their communications were
misinterpreted ...
-- Douglas Admas "The Hitchhikers' Guide To The Galaxy"
#5973It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen
#5974It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be
-- Groucho Marx
#5975It looked like something resembling white marble, which was
probably what it was: something resembling white marble.
-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy"
#5976It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
-- Steven Wright
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