BGA fortune cookies :: ethnic
fortune index   all fortunes

#5186There's something different about us -- different from people of Europe,
Africa, Asia ... a deep and abiding belief in the Easter Bunny.
-- G. Gordon Liddy
#5187Three Midwesterners, a Kansan, a Missourian and an Iowan,
all appearing on a quiz program, were asked to complete this sentence:
"Old MacDonald had a . . ."

"Old MacDonald had a carburetor," answered the Kansan.
"Sorry, that's wrong," the game show host said.
"Old MacDonald had a free brake alignment down at the
service station," said the Missourian.
"Old MacDonald had a farm," said the Iowan.
"CORRECT!" shouts the quizmaster. "Now for $100,000, spell 'farm.'"
"Easy," said the Iowan. "E-I-E-I-O."
#5188Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright
#5189To a Californian, a person must prove himself criminally insane before he
is allowed to drive a taxi in New York. For New York cabbies, honesty and
stopping at red lights are both optional.
-- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts
#5190To a Californian, all New Yorkers are cold; even in heat they rarely go
above fifty-eight degrees. If you collapse on a street in New York, plan
to spend a few days there.
-- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts
#5191To a Californian, the basic difference between the people and the pigeons
in New York is that the pigeons don't shit on each other.
-- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts
#5192To a New Yorker, all Californians are blond, even the blacks. There are,
in fact, whole neighborhoods that are zoned only for blond people. The
only way to tell the difference between California and Sweden is that the
Swedes speak better English."
-- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts
#5193To a New Yorker, the only California houses on the market for less than a
million dollars are those on fire. These generally go for six hundred
-- From "East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts
#5194To be happy one must be a) well fed, unhounded by sordid cares, at ease in
Zion, b) full of a comfortable feeling of superiority to the masses of one's
fellow men, and c) delicately and unceasingly amused according to one's taste.
It is my contention that, if this definition be accepted, there is no country
in the world wherein a man constituted as I am -- a man of my peculiar
weaknesses, vanities, appetites, and aversions -- can be so happy as he can
be in the United States. Going further, I lay down the doctrine that it is
a sheer physical impossibility for such a man to live in the United States
and not be happy.
-- H.L. Mencken, "On Being An American"
#5195To know Edina is to reject it.
-- Dudley Riggs, "The Year the Grinch Stole the Election"
  prev   1 ... 7 8 9 10 11 12 13   14   15 16 17   next  

art   computers   cookie   definitions   education   ethnic   food   fortunes   humorists   kids   law   literature   love   medicine   men-women   news   paradoxum   people   pets   platitudes   politics   riddles   science   sports   wisdom   work  

User Functions
You're not logged in! If you don't have an account yet, please register one and get your very own elite (but free) BGA account!
Cars and Bikes
Celebs (female)
Celebs (male)
Food and Drinks
Movies and TV
Search keywords:
Detailed view
Top Backgrounds
link to BGA - contact us
fortunes - donate - advertise
Terms of Service