 |
| #4558 | | Rule of the Great:
When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep
thoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch.
|
|
| #4559 | | Rules for Academic Deans:
(1) HIDE!!!!
(2) If they find you, LIE!!!!
-- Father Damian C. Fandal
|
|
| #4560 | | Rules for driving in New York:
(1) Anything done while honking your horn is legal.
(2) You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.
(3) A red light means the next six cars may go through the
intersection.
|
|
| #4561 | | Rules for Writers:
Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read. Don't use no double
negatives. Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate;
and never where it isn't. Reserve the apostrophe for it's proper use and
omit it when its not needed. No sentence fragments. Avoid commas, that are
unnecessary. Eschew dialect, irregardless. And don't start a sentence with
a conjunction. Hyphenate between sy-llables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.
Write all adverbial forms correct. Don't use contractions in formal writing.
Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided. It is incumbent on
us to avoid archaisms. Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have
snuck in the language. Never, ever use repetitive redundancies. If I've
told you once, I've told you a thousand times, resist hyperbole. Also,
avoid awkward or affected alliteration. Don't string too many prepositional
phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of
death. "Avoid overuse of 'quotation "marks."'"
|
|
| #4562 | | Rune's Rule:
If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost.
|
|
| #4563 | | Ryan's Law:
Make three correct guesses consecutively
and you will establish yourself as an expert.
|
|
| #4564 | | Sacher's Observation:
Some people grow with responsibility -- others merely swell.
|
|
| #4565 | | Satellite Safety Tip #14:
If you see a bright streak in the sky coming at you, duck.
|
|
| #4566 | | Sattinger's Law:
It works better if you plug it in.
|
|
| #4567 | | Savage's Law of Expediency:
You want it bad, you'll get it bad.
|
|
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